Saturday, October 25, 2008


Sometimes I don't miss being in a family. (okay that's a lie)

But I really don't miss all the bullshit that comes when people forget how to get along. The real world really gets in the way. I hope. I really hope that it's the stress of living in this hectic world that makes people snap off on each other and forget that they love each other.

People walk around in this perpetual state of being half cocked, and everyone has a hair trigger. It isn't just road rage anymore. It's everywhere. The anger and annoyance never abates. It just simmers just below the surface. And everyone's barriers are getting thinner and thinner.

It's really a pain in the, everything that matters, that people don't seem to say anything nice to each other anymore. Thank you is almost harder to come by than "please". We're all so freakin' self reliant that we forget that God put us on the planet in numbers greater than one, to be helpmates to one another. He put us here to be companions. To walk hand in hand (literally and figuratively) through this life together.

No one holds hands anymore. (literally or figuratively)

Except this one couple I see through my window at work everyday.

They walk the length of the shopping center. They hold hands as they walk.

They celebrated their 52nd wedding anniversary last Thursday. They give me hope. The always have a smile for us, trapped in our little work aquarium. They give me hope. That somewhere, someday, I'll have someone to hold my hand and walk with.

I'm okay with the downtime right now. When things mess up, it's okay to start over. Sometimes we have to start over with a completely different person.

I spent a couple of years in my marriage not fighting. But that doesn't mean it was healthy. We didnt' say anything. Well nothing that matters. And by the time we did say things that mattered, it was too late. I don't care what experts say, there is such a things as it being too late to "fix things" in a relationship. There is a point when you avoid and neglect something, and it withers and dies. Forget to water a flower garden, and keep it out of the sun and rain, and it will not thrive. It can't. And neither can people. We need the sunshine (the love and approval of those that matter to us) we need the rain. We have to let go of the things that stress us out. God gave us people in our lives, if we're lucky, who we can vent to; friends, Family, paid professionals when all else fails. We need to use them, but we have to remember not to abuse them. The rain has to be countered by the sunshine or things start to rot. It can't be all bad times.

I refuse to let it all be bad times.

But how do you help people who don't have a clue they need help? How do you help people who don't see the problem, and aren't looking for a better way? If you try, you're just part of their problem.


Last little thought. Anyone who spouts off about fighting so they can make up is lying. People rarely make up these days. They stop talking/yelling and act civil but even if there is make up sex involved. It's still all there waiting to come up in a few hours or days when the fight is off and running again. It just builds. It ebbs and flows but we never get back to zero. It's two steps forward and only one back. We never get back to happy it seems.

Jaded? Me? Not so

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