Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Not-So-Ancient Chinese secrets....

I'm really aging myself on that one. Remember those commercials?

I had the please of having dinner with my oldest child tonight. It freaked me out that she paid. Watching her pay with her bankcard and act all grown up was surreal!!
We went for a Chinese buffet, but only because they have decent sushi (nothing fancy, but it's good) on the buffet.

We ate, caught up, and enjoyed the time. With the check came the fortune cookies
Carissa opened and read hers aloud, "You are a lover of words, someday you will write a book."

She laughs and says this one must be yours.

I laugh and open the other cookie. "With a little more hard work, your creativity takes you to great heights."

Nice. I think I'll keep them both. I may have to play the "lucky" numbers on lotto just in case. Because the creativity and the book aren't happening working a day job, especially one that has me working nights. I'm not a morning person, so I'm best at night (I really should look into turning Vampire. They have money, and lots of time on their hands, and they get to stay up really late!!)

So, if anyone wants to pay me to stay home and write (Yes, Karen, I know you would if you could.) I'm willing. After 8 or 10 hours of being in charge of everyone else, and taking care of business how on earth do you settle down and focus and write. I don't have an editor or assistant to organize my output. And I feel like I'm a little too attention deficit to pay attention to my own story long enough to write it.

That's why Karen calls me the idea girl. I rock at ideas. Give me a topis, a hint, and I can run with it. I can flesh it out. But give me three ideas and I jump between them. It was the same way the other night at Paradocks at the bar. There were two huge screens with baseball games playing. I couldn't decide whether to watch the Yankees beat the Orioles, or The Mets lose to the Braves. (I still vehemently believe that any time I like, I jinx by watching the game.) I kept looking down and answering the trivia questions on the lower screen too, and we'll ignore that I was talking to the person across the table off and on too.

I really am to A.D.D to take out in public. I usually write with headphones on, playing a CD that I've heard a thousand times. It's like white noise that focuses me.

But I'm holding on to the fortunes from tonights dinner. I may even laminate them and put them in my wallet.

I love words!
I'm going to write a book!
I'll work hard and reach new creative heights!

(at least until next time I get a really cool bit of fortune cookie wisdom to replace it.)

What I'm reading: Clive Cussler "LOST CITY"
What I'm listening to: Pat Monahan "LAST OF SEVEN" (
Seth Walker "SETH WALKER" (

Most Recent Movie Watched: "THE AIR I BREATHE" & "VAN HELSING" (yeah, it's old, but Hugh Jackman is GREAT!!)


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

What's on your nightstand?

Tricia, stop laughing.

I say that because she knows that the company I work for has a store called NIGHTSTAND NOVELTIES and their tagline is "what's in your nightstand"
(yes it's THOSE kind of novelties, and yes we have a website, and yes I get a store discount, and yes I love to take people on field trips....)

Having the full run of the house here, I still keep my stuff in my room. So my nightstand, being by the door, is the catch all. I need a bigger nightstand.

There are two books (Diana Gabaldon's Fiery Cross & Michelle Bardsley's "I'm The Vampire That's Why") And that's the easy part.

1. Coffee cup: Navy rank. It was my Mom's. It's now a change/keys catcher because an 8 oz cup of coffee is a HUGE joke.
2. 43 cents in change that missed the cup.
3. a guitar pick Fender medium white pearl finish. Not sure where I got it. If it's yours and you need it back just ask. It's me. I should take it to the tanning bed and use it to mark the progress of my tan. It's more suitable to my addictions, I mean interests, than that lame playboy bunny sticker they give you. Wonder how hot it would get after 10 minutes of UV?

4. my sunglasses
5. a mountain dew (half full! See I'm being optimistic!!)

6. a post it not with some note that was important and meant something when I wrote it. I have no idea what it means now.
7. a vase of fake flowers. pink heather and something purple. The vase is crystal and a gift from my mom. She got it in Prague.
8. The lamp
9. Between the two books is the Garth Brooks Ultimate Hits thing. I was wondering where I laid it down.

The drawer has...(don't blush,it's safe)

1. tylenol,
2. another coffee cup.This one with my mother's maiden name and family crest. Are you starting to wonder if she has anything to drink out of?
3. a sharpie
4. a "mel" teenie beenie baby from McDonalds
5. a copy of my separation agreement.
6. cold pills that I don't need because I seem to have left my allergies and sinus problems at the old house (I got my car, I had to leave him something eh?)

that's it.
boring eh?

oo there's a shelf below.

photo album, the book I'm actually reading (Clive Cussler "Lost City"), and Bella's (the dog who runs this house)little red teddy bear. I was wondering where I tossed that.

I think I need to clear this sucker off eh?

But where else would I put the mystery guitar pick?


Another night of CSI...

Thank goodness for SPIKE TV eh?

I used to whine because we didn't have cable. Funny there's cable at the new digs and I find myself either reading or watching CSI or Law & Order reruns.

I'll confess it's just to have some noise. Without Ashley driving me nuts it's way too quiet. And I'm not really feeling social lately. I'm really new to this roommate, not living with my family thing. What I can't get over is why I feel guilty for doing the right thing.

Spouse wanted out, I wasn't happy, kids are 18 and over, we're still young (okay sort of young). I'm the who moved out, but I feel rotten about it. Not so much the being alone, I'm good at being by myself. It's the lack of being connected to the kids, the house, the yard, the idea of HOME.

I won't even get into the other aspects of being on my own that are stressing me out.

I think the limbo of waiting is really getting to me. Mid June till the divorce goes to the Judge. I have no idea how long it takes after that. I just know that I feel like I can't start anything or move forward with loose ends.

Someone asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend. I almost wrecked my car! Are they insane?

Well if they are, then I am too, because I have to admit that I miss being part of a couple in a bad way. It's not about sex (okay it's a little about sex. I'm 40, not dead). But I miss the simple stuff, I wish I had a buddy. I'm not sure I could handle that friends with benefits thing. (It'd be interesting to find out just once if I could be that casual about a relationship.) Just how do you stay friendly, and just how do you have relations without strings being attached? (shake off those bondage fantasies ya'll, I was speaking figuratively!

the cool part of being a roommate in a house full of people is that there's always some drama that I don't have to actually deal with going on. Would it be rude to pop popcorn and sit back and watch?

I'll get into those later...