Okay... first let me introduce you to Marc Broussard. You can listen to some stuff there.
I love him actually. I have all the CD's.
But the latest CD, KEEP COMING BACK messed me up.
I put the CD in the car as normal, and I called Tricia to see if she needed anything from the store, so I turned down the volume. I look up a little while, okay half way home (it's me and Tricia..duh!) and the CD player says it's on TRACK 60 of an 11 track CD. My heart stopped. How am I ever gonna get an apartment if things on the car start breaking. (and while someone might argue that the CD player is not an essential part of the vehicle, have you met me? Seriously!)
So I turn up the volume, momentarily forgetting to pay attention the conversation with Tricia. (sorry babe) Whew! it's a hidden track. Nice, lovely. My heart starts beating again. Then I start the song over and listen. It's called Evangeline Rose.
I'm gonna post the lyrics here, and really I'm not trying to infringe on any copyright. I want ya'll to fall for the music too!
Evangeline Rose
(Verse 1)
Good evening, Evangeline Rose
My you're looking beautiful, In your ribbons and bows.
Been missing you, out here on the road,
So many things to say to you, Things you should know
(Chorus)
But honestly these words I speak
Said on the phone when I'm long gone
Just don't say what I need you to hear
Don't worry if my words aren't clear
When I hang up this phone
I'm comin' home
(Verse 2)
Good evening, Evangeline Rose
My how the days pass so fast, my how you've grown
And I'm wondering, how long you've known
That you give me all the reason and the rhyme
With a simple hello
(Chorus)
But when I'm gone, one day's too long
I miss so much, I can't touch
The moments, the laughter, the pain
There's so much I can't explain
Right here right now on the phone
I'm comin' home
(Bridge)
And these tires on the road they hum a melody so sweet
And they whisper words that only you would say
And though they take me from the only place I ever felt complete
My dear, they always take me home
(Verse 3)
Good evening, Evangeline Rose
My you're looking beautiful, in your ribbons and bows
As you take my arm, I smile and you know
That I can give your hand away today
But I'll never let you go
(Chorus)
And honestly, I cannot speak
My little girl, my whole world
Time stood still, for a while
Watch you walking down the aisle
My sweet Evangeline Rose
It's good to be home
Sigh...
My kids aren't little anymore, but I miss coming home to them. I miss being woke up in the morning by them not so much. LOL.
I miss the way that Ashley didn't seem to be able to watch TV unless I was her backrest or pillow. I miss having Carissa's smile greet me, but she's been out on her own for a little longer. Ashley's the one I left home when I moved out. I feel like I abandoned her, even if she is 18 and all grown up now.
Something is missing and Marc Broussard's song did just a little bit of putting it to words. Sigh....
I love a verse from one of the other tracks on the CD too.
From the song Evil Things.
The evil things that I've done
Wash away in the warmth of your sun
The broken man that you see
Is not me, no, just a shadow where I used to be
Okay.. I really look forward to being able to say that to someone.
M
okay i'm all done being introspective and mildly depressed.
True Blood is on..and I can't be bummed listening to Jace Everett
I mean ...he wants to do bad things...lol
Where do you sign up for that job??
M
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Being a fly on the wall...
I'm very blessed to have friends willing to let me crash with them while I find the superglue and put all my pieces together again. I didn't fall off the wall like Humpty Dumpty, but I did finally run into a dead end and all the stuff I'd been keeping a few steps ahead of finally caught up and crashed into me. It was one helluva mess. I'd be lost completely without the handfull of friends who have really shown me the meaning of friend over the past few months...
It's sort of nice staying wiht Tricia and Chuck. Besides the fact that Tricia cooks and loves to fold laundry..lol, someone is always moderately happy to see me when I come in. (even if it's the dog, waiting for me to beat her for chewing up something else moderately valuable.) And Tricia and I do get to see each other more this way. It's nice to talk face to face on the mornings I'm home and all the kids but one are gone. I've been adopted by one of the cats. It's nice to almost belong somewhere again. I miss being part of a family. I can't thank them enough for letting me ride on the coattails of theirs.
But...
being an adult in a house not your own is odd. I try very hard to stay out of the normal family drama. But it's getting hard. I'm used to being Tricia's sounding board. It's my job. It's in the best bud contract we signed in blood so many years ago. I'd show you, but then I'd have to kill you. Some things truly are sacred still. ;-)
But now... other people are coming to me. This appeals to my caregiver, fix-it nature. Once a mom, always a mom, I suppose. I don't, and won't, offer advice until it's asked for. that's not my job. But it's okay to quielty try to play peacemaker when things get hairy and snarky right?
Someone please say "Yes, of course" or I'll explode.
The one thing I can say is that family is family is family. No matter how it is made up (step kids, step dads, moms, half siblings, dads, brothers, sisters, pets, ) Two people or twenty, or eight (;-)) through the fights, the growls, the bad moods, and all the drama. Love is there to keep it all together. Sometimes it's only one person who remembers it's there, but that's the power of Love. A little goes a long way...
and a lot does amazing things...
I miss it in ways that words cannot begin to explain
It's sort of nice staying wiht Tricia and Chuck. Besides the fact that Tricia cooks and loves to fold laundry..lol, someone is always moderately happy to see me when I come in. (even if it's the dog, waiting for me to beat her for chewing up something else moderately valuable.) And Tricia and I do get to see each other more this way. It's nice to talk face to face on the mornings I'm home and all the kids but one are gone. I've been adopted by one of the cats. It's nice to almost belong somewhere again. I miss being part of a family. I can't thank them enough for letting me ride on the coattails of theirs.
But...
being an adult in a house not your own is odd. I try very hard to stay out of the normal family drama. But it's getting hard. I'm used to being Tricia's sounding board. It's my job. It's in the best bud contract we signed in blood so many years ago. I'd show you, but then I'd have to kill you. Some things truly are sacred still. ;-)
But now... other people are coming to me. This appeals to my caregiver, fix-it nature. Once a mom, always a mom, I suppose. I don't, and won't, offer advice until it's asked for. that's not my job. But it's okay to quielty try to play peacemaker when things get hairy and snarky right?
Someone please say "Yes, of course" or I'll explode.
The one thing I can say is that family is family is family. No matter how it is made up (step kids, step dads, moms, half siblings, dads, brothers, sisters, pets, ) Two people or twenty, or eight (;-)) through the fights, the growls, the bad moods, and all the drama. Love is there to keep it all together. Sometimes it's only one person who remembers it's there, but that's the power of Love. A little goes a long way...
and a lot does amazing things...
I miss it in ways that words cannot begin to explain
Lazy days...
Today day feels like a lazy day...
But it's not.
I got up, cleaned up and I do have to work tonight. I was supposed to be off, but I got a call a few minutes ago. (this is karma for ditching my shifts yesterday and I'm content with paying the piper) If I had two full days off, something bizarre would happen; it might hail frogs or something biblical, seriously.
I don't feel motivated to do much of anything.
I have a book I could be reading.
I have various work related things that I probably should be doing.
I can't seem to get motivated enough to change out of the Scooby Doo PJ bottoms I have on. Comfy counts for a lot.
So I have the iTunes on (CD: People Gonna Talk Artist: James Hunter) and I've updated my profile, commented on some blogs, and read some email. I'm bored again.
Maybe it's not so much a Lazy Day, as an Attention Deficit day?
I should make a list (ah be still my little Virgo Heart), and that way at least as I bounce from task to task, I'll get something accomplished. (I mean I logged online a couple of hours ago to 1. read Tricia's blogs, 2. catch up on the Delbert McClinton forum.
I haven't gone to Delbert's site yet.
Maybe I need more coffee? (less is not an option)
The mood is probably left over from yesterday.
Dominic turned three, and we went to his part at Chuck E Cheese. Ashley didn't make it because she was at work, but it felt odd to have us there as a group, but to not be a group like we used to be. The being friends thing is gonna be a long time coming I think. Warm and Fuzzy is a distant glow on the horizon. I don't feel anything. I'm not angry and I've run out of sad. But I don't like the empty feeling.
I am just scared I'm going to end up finding something not so great to fill the space. I'm not looking for frivolous or quick and easy, or quick and complicated. But from the very outside looking in, quick and complicated would probably be very easy to fall into.
ok..
Off to read and post on Delbert's site...or at least read and find out all about all the stuff I'm missing.
Mel
But it's not.
I got up, cleaned up and I do have to work tonight. I was supposed to be off, but I got a call a few minutes ago. (this is karma for ditching my shifts yesterday and I'm content with paying the piper) If I had two full days off, something bizarre would happen; it might hail frogs or something biblical, seriously.
I don't feel motivated to do much of anything.
I have a book I could be reading.
I have various work related things that I probably should be doing.
I can't seem to get motivated enough to change out of the Scooby Doo PJ bottoms I have on. Comfy counts for a lot.
So I have the iTunes on (CD: People Gonna Talk Artist: James Hunter) and I've updated my profile, commented on some blogs, and read some email. I'm bored again.
Maybe it's not so much a Lazy Day, as an Attention Deficit day?
I should make a list (ah be still my little Virgo Heart), and that way at least as I bounce from task to task, I'll get something accomplished. (I mean I logged online a couple of hours ago to 1. read Tricia's blogs, 2. catch up on the Delbert McClinton forum.
I haven't gone to Delbert's site yet.
Maybe I need more coffee? (less is not an option)
The mood is probably left over from yesterday.
Dominic turned three, and we went to his part at Chuck E Cheese. Ashley didn't make it because she was at work, but it felt odd to have us there as a group, but to not be a group like we used to be. The being friends thing is gonna be a long time coming I think. Warm and Fuzzy is a distant glow on the horizon. I don't feel anything. I'm not angry and I've run out of sad. But I don't like the empty feeling.
I am just scared I'm going to end up finding something not so great to fill the space. I'm not looking for frivolous or quick and easy, or quick and complicated. But from the very outside looking in, quick and complicated would probably be very easy to fall into.
ok..
Off to read and post on Delbert's site...or at least read and find out all about all the stuff I'm missing.
Mel
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Being the boss sucks ... a lot!
Things are bad all over, but I'm to the point that I don't have the patience to put up with people's lazy, and lax attitudes towards the job they have.
If you signed on to do a job, and expect to get paid, am I wrong in thinking that the employees should do the job? Is that too much to ask. I have had to hear multiple complaints from the few customers we are actually getting these days and I've had it up to here. Twice.
So everyone is getting the same talking to. Sadly this is the same way I used to scold my children. They get the same talk, so they can't say they are getting treated differently. And at this point I really do feel like I'm babysitting.
Not a good sign.
The problems all started when minimum wage went up. Some people got raises of a sort to bring them up to the new wage. Some people were already making that or more, and they got nothing, (myself included). But I'm ok, as it gets. I understand that if the company were making lots of money right now, they would have worked out something. But things suck everywhere. The economy is tanked and the first thing to go is the entertainment budget. While the video store is still cheaper than going to the movie theater, it's not cheap.
And annoyed employees aren't productive.
Well newsflash.
Annoyed bosses are far from being good for the work environment either.
I'm not the sort of boss that puts up with everyone else goofing off while I'm working. And I'm doing my crap so... I'm not going to pay them to do nothing. If I'm going to end up doing their job, they sure as heck won't be there to watch me do it.
In other news...the kids are both unemployed, but I think I got Ashley hired on at the other video store. Carissa, who already worked for the company before, can't comeback because she used to date the owners son. And of course the break up is her fault. We'll refrain from talking about how immature, stalker-riffic, and nuts the boy has acted since they broke up. Or how unprofessional the owner reacted. Homelife stuff should have remained at home. Work should be about work and if the person can do the job. Not whether or not she is DONE putting up with your son's bulls@#t.
Oh wait..I did say it outloud. Meant it too.
And that has nothing to do with the lack of raise. It's personal.
More later...
If you signed on to do a job, and expect to get paid, am I wrong in thinking that the employees should do the job? Is that too much to ask. I have had to hear multiple complaints from the few customers we are actually getting these days and I've had it up to here. Twice.
So everyone is getting the same talking to. Sadly this is the same way I used to scold my children. They get the same talk, so they can't say they are getting treated differently. And at this point I really do feel like I'm babysitting.
Not a good sign.
The problems all started when minimum wage went up. Some people got raises of a sort to bring them up to the new wage. Some people were already making that or more, and they got nothing, (myself included). But I'm ok, as it gets. I understand that if the company were making lots of money right now, they would have worked out something. But things suck everywhere. The economy is tanked and the first thing to go is the entertainment budget. While the video store is still cheaper than going to the movie theater, it's not cheap.
And annoyed employees aren't productive.
Well newsflash.
Annoyed bosses are far from being good for the work environment either.
I'm not the sort of boss that puts up with everyone else goofing off while I'm working. And I'm doing my crap so... I'm not going to pay them to do nothing. If I'm going to end up doing their job, they sure as heck won't be there to watch me do it.
In other news...the kids are both unemployed, but I think I got Ashley hired on at the other video store. Carissa, who already worked for the company before, can't comeback because she used to date the owners son. And of course the break up is her fault. We'll refrain from talking about how immature, stalker-riffic, and nuts the boy has acted since they broke up. Or how unprofessional the owner reacted. Homelife stuff should have remained at home. Work should be about work and if the person can do the job. Not whether or not she is DONE putting up with your son's bulls@#t.
Oh wait..I did say it outloud. Meant it too.
And that has nothing to do with the lack of raise. It's personal.
More later...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Not-So-Ancient Chinese secrets....
I'm really aging myself on that one. Remember those commercials?
I had the please of having dinner with my oldest child tonight. It freaked me out that she paid. Watching her pay with her bankcard and act all grown up was surreal!!
We went for a Chinese buffet, but only because they have decent sushi (nothing fancy, but it's good) on the buffet.
We ate, caught up, and enjoyed the time. With the check came the fortune cookies
Carissa opened and read hers aloud, "You are a lover of words, someday you will write a book."
She laughs and says this one must be yours.
I laugh and open the other cookie. "With a little more hard work, your creativity takes you to great heights."
Nice. I think I'll keep them both. I may have to play the "lucky" numbers on lotto just in case. Because the creativity and the book aren't happening working a day job, especially one that has me working nights. I'm not a morning person, so I'm best at night (I really should look into turning Vampire. They have money, and lots of time on their hands, and they get to stay up really late!!)
So, if anyone wants to pay me to stay home and write (Yes, Karen, I know you would if you could.) I'm willing. After 8 or 10 hours of being in charge of everyone else, and taking care of business how on earth do you settle down and focus and write. I don't have an editor or assistant to organize my output. And I feel like I'm a little too attention deficit to pay attention to my own story long enough to write it.
That's why Karen calls me the idea girl. I rock at ideas. Give me a topis, a hint, and I can run with it. I can flesh it out. But give me three ideas and I jump between them. It was the same way the other night at Paradocks at the bar. There were two huge screens with baseball games playing. I couldn't decide whether to watch the Yankees beat the Orioles, or The Mets lose to the Braves. (I still vehemently believe that any time I like, I jinx by watching the game.) I kept looking down and answering the trivia questions on the lower screen too, and we'll ignore that I was talking to the person across the table off and on too.
I really am to A.D.D to take out in public. I usually write with headphones on, playing a CD that I've heard a thousand times. It's like white noise that focuses me.
But I'm holding on to the fortunes from tonights dinner. I may even laminate them and put them in my wallet.
I love words!
I'm going to write a book!
I'll work hard and reach new creative heights!
(at least until next time I get a really cool bit of fortune cookie wisdom to replace it.)
What I'm reading: Clive Cussler "LOST CITY"
What I'm listening to: Pat Monahan "LAST OF SEVEN" (www.myspace.com/patmonahan)
Seth Walker "SETH WALKER" (www.myspace.com/sethwalkerblues)
Most Recent Movie Watched: "THE AIR I BREATHE" & "VAN HELSING" (yeah, it's old, but Hugh Jackman is GREAT!!)
M
I had the please of having dinner with my oldest child tonight. It freaked me out that she paid. Watching her pay with her bankcard and act all grown up was surreal!!
We went for a Chinese buffet, but only because they have decent sushi (nothing fancy, but it's good) on the buffet.
We ate, caught up, and enjoyed the time. With the check came the fortune cookies
Carissa opened and read hers aloud, "You are a lover of words, someday you will write a book."
She laughs and says this one must be yours.
I laugh and open the other cookie. "With a little more hard work, your creativity takes you to great heights."
Nice. I think I'll keep them both. I may have to play the "lucky" numbers on lotto just in case. Because the creativity and the book aren't happening working a day job, especially one that has me working nights. I'm not a morning person, so I'm best at night (I really should look into turning Vampire. They have money, and lots of time on their hands, and they get to stay up really late!!)
So, if anyone wants to pay me to stay home and write (Yes, Karen, I know you would if you could.) I'm willing. After 8 or 10 hours of being in charge of everyone else, and taking care of business how on earth do you settle down and focus and write. I don't have an editor or assistant to organize my output. And I feel like I'm a little too attention deficit to pay attention to my own story long enough to write it.
That's why Karen calls me the idea girl. I rock at ideas. Give me a topis, a hint, and I can run with it. I can flesh it out. But give me three ideas and I jump between them. It was the same way the other night at Paradocks at the bar. There were two huge screens with baseball games playing. I couldn't decide whether to watch the Yankees beat the Orioles, or The Mets lose to the Braves. (I still vehemently believe that any time I like, I jinx by watching the game.) I kept looking down and answering the trivia questions on the lower screen too, and we'll ignore that I was talking to the person across the table off and on too.
I really am to A.D.D to take out in public. I usually write with headphones on, playing a CD that I've heard a thousand times. It's like white noise that focuses me.
But I'm holding on to the fortunes from tonights dinner. I may even laminate them and put them in my wallet.
I love words!
I'm going to write a book!
I'll work hard and reach new creative heights!
(at least until next time I get a really cool bit of fortune cookie wisdom to replace it.)
What I'm reading: Clive Cussler "LOST CITY"
What I'm listening to: Pat Monahan "LAST OF SEVEN" (www.myspace.com/patmonahan)
Seth Walker "SETH WALKER" (www.myspace.com/sethwalkerblues)
Most Recent Movie Watched: "THE AIR I BREATHE" & "VAN HELSING" (yeah, it's old, but Hugh Jackman is GREAT!!)
M
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
What's on your nightstand?
Tricia, stop laughing.
I say that because she knows that the company I work for has a store called NIGHTSTAND NOVELTIES and their tagline is "what's in your nightstand"
(yes it's THOSE kind of novelties, and yes we have a website, and yes I get a store discount, and yes I love to take people on field trips....)
Having the full run of the house here, I still keep my stuff in my room. So my nightstand, being by the door, is the catch all. I need a bigger nightstand.
There are two books (Diana Gabaldon's Fiery Cross & Michelle Bardsley's "I'm The Vampire That's Why") And that's the easy part.
1. Coffee cup: Navy rank. It was my Mom's. It's now a change/keys catcher because an 8 oz cup of coffee is a HUGE joke.
2. 43 cents in change that missed the cup.
3. a guitar pick Fender medium white pearl finish. Not sure where I got it. If it's yours and you need it back just ask. It's me. I should take it to the tanning bed and use it to mark the progress of my tan. It's more suitable to my addictions, I mean interests, than that lame playboy bunny sticker they give you. Wonder how hot it would get after 10 minutes of UV?
4. my sunglasses
5. a mountain dew (half full! See I'm being optimistic!!)
6. a post it not with some note that was important and meant something when I wrote it. I have no idea what it means now.
7. a vase of fake flowers. pink heather and something purple. The vase is crystal and a gift from my mom. She got it in Prague.
8. The lamp
9. Between the two books is the Garth Brooks Ultimate Hits thing. I was wondering where I laid it down.
The drawer has...(don't blush,it's safe)
1. tylenol,
2. another coffee cup.This one with my mother's maiden name and family crest. Are you starting to wonder if she has anything to drink out of?
3. a sharpie
4. a "mel" teenie beenie baby from McDonalds
5. a copy of my separation agreement.
6. cold pills that I don't need because I seem to have left my allergies and sinus problems at the old house (I got my car, I had to leave him something eh?)
that's it.
boring eh?
oo there's a shelf below.
photo album, the book I'm actually reading (Clive Cussler "Lost City"), and Bella's (the dog who runs this house)little red teddy bear. I was wondering where I tossed that.
I think I need to clear this sucker off eh?
But where else would I put the mystery guitar pick?
M
I say that because she knows that the company I work for has a store called NIGHTSTAND NOVELTIES and their tagline is "what's in your nightstand"
(yes it's THOSE kind of novelties, and yes we have a website, and yes I get a store discount, and yes I love to take people on field trips....)
Having the full run of the house here, I still keep my stuff in my room. So my nightstand, being by the door, is the catch all. I need a bigger nightstand.
There are two books (Diana Gabaldon's Fiery Cross & Michelle Bardsley's "I'm The Vampire That's Why") And that's the easy part.
1. Coffee cup: Navy rank. It was my Mom's. It's now a change/keys catcher because an 8 oz cup of coffee is a HUGE joke.
2. 43 cents in change that missed the cup.
3. a guitar pick Fender medium white pearl finish. Not sure where I got it. If it's yours and you need it back just ask. It's me. I should take it to the tanning bed and use it to mark the progress of my tan. It's more suitable to my addictions, I mean interests, than that lame playboy bunny sticker they give you. Wonder how hot it would get after 10 minutes of UV?
4. my sunglasses
5. a mountain dew (half full! See I'm being optimistic!!)
6. a post it not with some note that was important and meant something when I wrote it. I have no idea what it means now.
7. a vase of fake flowers. pink heather and something purple. The vase is crystal and a gift from my mom. She got it in Prague.
8. The lamp
9. Between the two books is the Garth Brooks Ultimate Hits thing. I was wondering where I laid it down.
The drawer has...(don't blush,it's safe)
1. tylenol,
2. another coffee cup.This one with my mother's maiden name and family crest. Are you starting to wonder if she has anything to drink out of?
3. a sharpie
4. a "mel" teenie beenie baby from McDonalds
5. a copy of my separation agreement.
6. cold pills that I don't need because I seem to have left my allergies and sinus problems at the old house (I got my car, I had to leave him something eh?)
that's it.
boring eh?
oo there's a shelf below.
photo album, the book I'm actually reading (Clive Cussler "Lost City"), and Bella's (the dog who runs this house)little red teddy bear. I was wondering where I tossed that.
I think I need to clear this sucker off eh?
But where else would I put the mystery guitar pick?
M
Another night of CSI...
Thank goodness for SPIKE TV eh?
I used to whine because we didn't have cable. Funny there's cable at the new digs and I find myself either reading or watching CSI or Law & Order reruns.
I'll confess it's just to have some noise. Without Ashley driving me nuts it's way too quiet. And I'm not really feeling social lately. I'm really new to this roommate, not living with my family thing. What I can't get over is why I feel guilty for doing the right thing.
Spouse wanted out, I wasn't happy, kids are 18 and over, we're still young (okay sort of young). I'm the who moved out, but I feel rotten about it. Not so much the being alone, I'm good at being by myself. It's the lack of being connected to the kids, the house, the yard, the idea of HOME.
I won't even get into the other aspects of being on my own that are stressing me out.
I think the limbo of waiting is really getting to me. Mid June till the divorce goes to the Judge. I have no idea how long it takes after that. I just know that I feel like I can't start anything or move forward with loose ends.
Someone asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend. I almost wrecked my car! Are they insane?
Well if they are, then I am too, because I have to admit that I miss being part of a couple in a bad way. It's not about sex (okay it's a little about sex. I'm 40, not dead). But I miss the simple stuff, I wish I had a buddy. I'm not sure I could handle that friends with benefits thing. (It'd be interesting to find out just once if I could be that casual about a relationship.) Just how do you stay friendly, and just how do you have relations without strings being attached? (shake off those bondage fantasies ya'll, I was speaking figuratively!
Sigh...
the cool part of being a roommate in a house full of people is that there's always some drama that I don't have to actually deal with going on. Would it be rude to pop popcorn and sit back and watch?
I'll get into those later...
M
I used to whine because we didn't have cable. Funny there's cable at the new digs and I find myself either reading or watching CSI or Law & Order reruns.
I'll confess it's just to have some noise. Without Ashley driving me nuts it's way too quiet. And I'm not really feeling social lately. I'm really new to this roommate, not living with my family thing. What I can't get over is why I feel guilty for doing the right thing.
Spouse wanted out, I wasn't happy, kids are 18 and over, we're still young (okay sort of young). I'm the who moved out, but I feel rotten about it. Not so much the being alone, I'm good at being by myself. It's the lack of being connected to the kids, the house, the yard, the idea of HOME.
I won't even get into the other aspects of being on my own that are stressing me out.
I think the limbo of waiting is really getting to me. Mid June till the divorce goes to the Judge. I have no idea how long it takes after that. I just know that I feel like I can't start anything or move forward with loose ends.
Someone asked me if I was looking for a boyfriend. I almost wrecked my car! Are they insane?
Well if they are, then I am too, because I have to admit that I miss being part of a couple in a bad way. It's not about sex (okay it's a little about sex. I'm 40, not dead). But I miss the simple stuff, I wish I had a buddy. I'm not sure I could handle that friends with benefits thing. (It'd be interesting to find out just once if I could be that casual about a relationship.) Just how do you stay friendly, and just how do you have relations without strings being attached? (shake off those bondage fantasies ya'll, I was speaking figuratively!
Sigh...
the cool part of being a roommate in a house full of people is that there's always some drama that I don't have to actually deal with going on. Would it be rude to pop popcorn and sit back and watch?
I'll get into those later...
M
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